Do you ever feel unseen?

by Charleen Burghardt

Do you feel unseen? I often think others do not understand my circumstances and that I am the only one experiencing this. How about you? Does it seem that others don’t fully comprehend what you are going through? Perhaps you experience isolation due to an illness, contending with relentless physical pain and searching for answers. Alternatively, you might be going unnoticed and unappreciated in your workplace. Or when you have lost a loved one, a divide develops between you and others who have not experienced grief.

loneliness, isolation, not being heard

We often go through situations that leave us with the impression that we are the only ones on a deserted island. We feel unseen, misunderstood, and even invisible. Living with relentless pain can be lonely. Being unappreciated for our work can be isolating, especially for caregivers of a person with disabilities or a loved one with memory loss. Whether it’s a crisis, a strained relationship, a divorce, navigating the challenges of raising a rebellious teenager or facing failures, these life experiences can make us question if anyone truly comprehends us. This sense of isolation happens, especially with grief. The loss of a loved one can be incredibly profound, with deep, unending sadness plunging us into uncharted emotions..

I experienced a sense of invisibility after I had a miscarriage. At first, my family showed up with a meal and listened. After a few weeks, my family and friends went on with their lives while I needed someone to sit with me in my grief. I wanted someone to listen with empathy and to acknowledge my aching heart, lost dreams, and fear of the future. Nothing prepared me for the rollercoaster of despair or the loneliness I would experience. I felt unseen. I yearned for companionship in my grief.

We long for someone to walk with us in our pain.

We all desire empathy and someone to walk alongside us.

Being connected is a vital need we all have. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs, following safety, shelter, and food, a critical necessity is establishing connections with others. Engaging in relationships and being part of a group satisfies our emotional needs. Frequently, we experience a sense of isolation and invisibility, a lack of connection.

Besides Maslow’s hierarchy, others agree that an emotional need exists to be seen. Tony Robbins, the life coach, places great importance on the emotional need for significance, ranking it as one of the foremost human needs. He explains that the yearning for relevance is essentially a desire to be noticed, heard, and acknowledged.

The need for significance is a basic need

The need for significance is evident in a biblical narrative. Hagar, a woman depicted in the Old Testament, faced mistreatment from her master, Abram, and his wife, Sarai. Being pregnant with Abram’s child fueled jealousy in Sarai, leading to conflict between them. As a foreigner and servant in Abram’s household, Hagar had no legal standing. In her desperation, distress, and discouragement, Hagar fled to the desert because of an intense sense of being overlooked and rejected.

An unexpected twist happens in this story. An angel appeared to Hagar in the wilderness. Little did she realize she was always within God’s sight. The angel brought comfort, encouragement, and a promise of God’s provision for her and the baby. Long before cell phones, email, and satellite, God observed the dire situation of an Egyptian servant in the desert. Because of God’s direction, Hagar returned to her master, Abram. But not before she named the LORD, El Roi—“You’re the God who sees me!”

In Genesis 16:13, Hagar is the first person to name God: “I have now found the One who sees me.”

You’re the God who sees me!

We are not alone; God sees us. God empathizes with us and walks alongside us.

Although our circumstances differ from Hagar’s, we can still have the same emotions of insignificance, feeling unseen and unheard. But God sees us. Also, we are not alone. God empathizes with us and walks alongside us. As with Hagar in the desert long ago, God is present in our desert place, whether it is grief, frustration with work, fear of finances, relationship difficulties, or whatever our situation or experience.

We have an invitation to come to God in our time of need because Jesus can sympathize with us. The Scripture speaks of Jesus as our High Priest and invites us to go to Jesus.

God meets us in our wilderness place

Indeed, life may be messy, but God lives in the mess with us. We are not unseen.

We are seen, heard and noticed!

Dear El Roi,

You know all about where I am. Let me know you are with me in my aloneness. Walk with me through this time in my life, hear my prayers and comfort me. May I sense your presence, peace and have assurance you will never leave me. May the Holy Spirit encourage, and give me strength and hope. Thank you for your unfailing love and for always knowing, seeing, and hearing me.

Amen

Here is a song I recently heard about God reaching out to us, “Dancing On the Waves” by We The Kingdom Click the link on the title. Lyrics

I’d love to hear your comments, especially about the song.

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Grace Offers hope,