Honoring Loss on Mother’s Day

by Charleen Burghardt

Mother’s Day is upon us; it is a time to celebrate and honor the special mother in our lives. If your mother is alive, be thankful and relish your time with her. What a gift to have your grandmother or mother-in-law. Maybe you have someone who has been like a mother to you. Express your gratitude to them on this day to acknowledge mothers. Their presence is a blessing in our lives.

But this day can be painful for some. With that in mind, I want to extend recognition to those for whom Mother’s Day can be challenging. To those who lost their mothers or those navigating strained relationships with their mothers or children, your experiences are valid and worthy of acknowledgment and honor.

When my mother was alive, I enjoyed getting her a gift with a card and visiting her. I loved seeing her and giving her a gift. Then, after she died in 2017, the festive day took on a different meaning. I no longer have her, and it saddens me. Now, Mother’s Day is about her memory, which I treasure dearly.

One of the hardest things in life is to lose our mothers.

They birthed us, loved us, sacrificed for us, and trained us. Despite our trials, our mothers cheered us on and believed in us. They offered the soft side of life by nurturing us. They were also our link to the past, giving us a heritage. I will always miss her. I feel a significant hole inside me with her loss. As I miss her presence, I treasure the precious memories by recalling the fun times of laughter and joy, the special occasions, the meal gatherings, the life values she instilled, and her countless stories.

With that in mind, I wanted to recognize those who lost their mothers with a prayer.

Prayer for those who lost their mother

Dear God and creator of life,

Carry my sorrow today as I grieve the loss of my mother. Help me feel your loving arms surrounding me.

May your peace guard my heart and mind as I grieve her loss. Comfort me in her loss. Help me hold her memories close.

I pray for courage when I miss her and wish to talk to her. Bring her wisdom to my mind so I can recall it as I navigate life.

Thank you for my mother’s sacrifices, kindness, willingness to teach me, and ability to challenge me with correction. Thank you for the remarkable and loving person my mother was, and her life lessons. May I honor her in how I love others.

Amen

“God is our refuge and strength,
    always ready to help in times of trouble” (Psalm 46:1).

Women who lost children

Honoring loss on Mother’s Day includes a group of mothers who have lost children through pregnancy loss or, sadly, through death. This day can be a painful reminder for mothers of their losses. These mothers need to be acknowledged and seen. Their loss matters to God.

I became a member of that group when I lost a baby on my 40th  birthday. I remember sitting in front of a birthday cake my mother made for me, dazed and in shock that I miscarried. Nothing prepared me for that day. The grief does not sting as much now, but I still grieve.

Remember mothers who have lost children; they are mothers, too. Acknowledge them, honor them, and their courage to live with child loss. Our compassionate God walks with them in their grief and recognizes their heartache, sobs, longings, and lost dreams, promising never to leave them. Their child or children wait for them in heaven. They are still their child’s mother even though they are not with them physically. Death cannot take their motherhood away. However, God knows how painful this Mother’s Day is. There is a hole that never seems to heal.

Prayer for those who lost a Child

(regardless of whether your child was in the womb, an infant, a child, or died as an adult).

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for being aware of my loss and giving me the honor of belonging to you and being a mother. You see me and hear me, especially in the sadness of losing a child. You know the circumstances of my loss, with all the emotions I have experienced and am experiencing.

 My heart breaks in so many places. Almighty God, you promised to be near the brokenhearted and to rescue those crushed in spirit. Meet me in my space of loss,

Be my strength, my shepherd, and my counselor. May I experience the comfort of the Holy Spirit, the nearness of Christ. May I feel your love and compassion holding me.

When in solitude, whisper the hope of Jesus Christ to me, knowing you will wipe all tears away someday. Surround me with a supportive community, especially a supportive faith community.

May your divine presence accompany me each hour and each day.

Amen

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
    He rescues those whose spirits are crushed” (Psalm 34:18 NLT).

A forgotten group

Another group of women who bear the weight of childlessness finds this day especially difficult, with mixed emotions. Infertility carries the pain of not having children. Often forgotten, they hold deep wounds. The Scriptures contain stories of women who could not conceive, including Sarah, Rachel, Hannah, and Elizabeth. God listened to their heartbreak. Their grief mattered to God, who knows and sees those who cannot bear children. We live in a fallen world, and the world’s brokenness affects even childbearing.

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever” (Revelations 21:4 NLT).

I want to acknowledge those for whom Mother’s Day is not a joyful celebration, but a time when emotions can be sensitive, a bitter/sweet day. Be mindful of those who carry sadness on this day. Some carry pain because their journey as a mother has not been what they thought, and their dreams did not turn out.

May God encourage and comfort those for whom this day is difficult.

Please share with a hurting mother.

Grace Offers Hope,

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